I Never Wanted To Hear This
by maybeshescrazy
Summary: Getting in Jacob's head when Edward dropped that not-so-subtle hint of marriage. Like he said, "I never promised to fight fair".


**Author's Note:** _Taking a bit of a break from writing Decisions, I was reading Eclipse and got to the part of the book where Edward let's Jacob not-so-subtley know that he and Bella are engaged. I'd been toying with the idea of writing the chapter before from Jacob/Edward's POV as I thought there was something missing, but this just leapt out at me and begged to be written._

_I absolutely love writing from Jacob's POV, so I'll definitely do some more stuff from him. This is just going to be a one-shot for now, but if it goes down well, then I may do the previous and next chapter - I've always been fascinated by what Jacob was thinking when he made Bella kiss him._

_Just so you know, I haven't changed any dialogue from Eclipse. If Edward, Bella or Jake said it in the book, then that's what's in here. I only wrote Jacob's and the pack's thoughts and actions._

_Previously, straight from Chapter 23 of Eclipse:_

_"It wasn't the worst night of my life."  
"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment.  
"Possibly."  
Jacob smiled and closed his eyes.  
"But," Edward went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that."_

**I Never Wanted To Hear This**

My eyes opened. I was out of here – I didn't want to think about what the bloodsucker had meant by _that_.

"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more," he replied, his eyes cold and hard on my face.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later then." I grimaced, I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept long and peacefully. "I need to talk to Sam, anyway."

I moved cautiously towards the doorway, keeping the distance between myself and him, now with Bella kneeling next to him, as great as possible.

"Jake, wait..." Bella said, and touched my arm.

I decided I didn't want to hear anything else, whether it be on my keeping safe or her best nights. I pulled away.

"Please Jake? Won't you stay?" she pleaded.

And watch you and him get all cosy together? Yeah right.

"No."

I saw her face fall. _Take that, leech. She doesn't want to see me go._ I managed a smile.

"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am." _Yeah, go ahead, break my heart. I'll be fine._ "'Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place — have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right."

I wasn't in the mood to hang around any longer, and rather harshly muttered "Give it a rest Bella," when I heard her start her lecture on my safety again. I ignored Seth's eyes as they followed me pacing away from the tent, and phased easily. I ran silently into the woods – although this wouldn't give me any privacy from him, I needed to get away.

_Jacob! Is everything well there? _Sam's voice was in my mind.

I snorted silently. _Fine_. I tried to keep the previous night from my mind, but the last conversation was still pressing on my thoughts, and it all slipped through.

_Woah, man. You never lose an opportunity do you?_

_Seriously, Jake, you need to forget about Bella._

_Ugh. Men._

Paul, Embry and Leah all weighed in on my thoughts.

_Shut up_ I thought roughly back, and tried to clear my head. _What time does this start?_

_According to one of them, the psychic, they'll be here in about an hour. You should get going, in case they're here early... _Sam thought.

_Right. I'm on my way._

I turned and padded softly through the trees back to the tent. I was about to let them know I was leaving, when I started listening to Bella's conversation.

"There are other ways to distract me." I heard her say.

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights. I'm curious."

I paused. This was probably going to be stuff I didn't want to hear, but some perverse part of me made me stop so I could torture myself with more crap from the bloodsucker.

"Try to guess."

"There are too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

_Yeah, bet they have, you parasite._

"Really?"

"Yes, really – and by quite a wide margin, too."

"I can only think of mine."

"They might be the same."

_You wish._

"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."

I gritted my teeth to keep myself from growling, even though he would probably know I was listening. Well, I wouldn't spare him my thoughts.

"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favourite part."

_Filthy, disgusting..._

"That's right. I was talking that night, too."

_Oh really? I hope you gave him a lot to think about, Bella._

"Yes."

For a moment I wondered who he was answering.

"What did I say last night?"

_Care to mention how much she dreams about me, bloodsucker? Or are you too chicken to deal with the truth?_

Evidently he didn't answer.

"Nothing too horrible."

"Please tell me."

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."

_Oh yeah? Just forgotten everything else?_

"That's not bad."

"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob.'"

_Yeah! Deal with that, dude._

"Your Jacob enjoyed _that _quite a lot."

_You bet I did._

"Sorry. That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?"

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me."

_Keep dreaming, man. A dream's a dream, and she was the one dreaming about me._

"That makes sense. Tell me another favourite night."

"Flying home from Italy."

_When..? That was the one where she went to save you, right? Ugh. Pathetic._

"Is that not one of yours?" Bella continued.

"No, it _is _one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

_Ludicrous my ass. That's the Bella I knew. THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU HURT HER._

"Yes. But, still, you were there."

"You love me more than I deserve."

_You got that one right there. _

I heard her laugh.

"Next would be the night after Italy."

"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?"

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

_Vivid dreams eh? Looks like I'm not the only one having fantasies here._

"I'm still not sure. You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"

_Bring it on! Make it a good one for me, why don't you?_

"No – that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."

Everything around me went completely still. My mind, still filled with the thoughts of the rest of the pack, seemed to freeze at that moment. I couldn't hear anything. I was vaguely aware of Seth coming to butt me gently with his nose in comfort, but I moved a few paces away before he reached me, my eyes still glued to the tent.

Bella's marrying that... that... THING?

_Ouch. That's gotta hurt._

_Aw man, that was below the belt._

The rest of the pack's voices made their way back into my head, but I tuned them out, still intent on the unbelievable conversation which was unfolding in the tent.

"That doesn't make your list?" Edward continued. He was probably enjoying himself, continuing the topic to crush me as much as possible.

"Yes . . . it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."

My mind slowly began picking itself up again, slowly processing what I heard. "_Forever."_

"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."

"I'll remind you to explain – in a hundred years."

Suddenly it all hit me in one shattering blow. I didn't hear anything else. I realised how Bella felt when Edward had left her. I knew now why she had to hold herself together. I didn't know how I had managed to still be in one piece. I turned towards the cliff edge – for now, I was glad I was in wolf form. Human tears couldn't express this much pain.

A single thought throbbed in my head. _Bella is marrying Edward, so she can be a vampire with him forever._

I threw my head back and howled.

*

_Don't forget to review!_


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